June 18, 2007

There but for the grace of God go I...

I guess I need to stop kidding myself and admit that I am playing with fire. What seems thrilling right now, is very quickly going to be very bad idea, I think.

I need to give thanks to a total stranger for giving me my overdue wake-up call.

3 comments:

Jodi said...

WOW~I know what you mean. I found you in the Bad mother's basement. I had some wierd thing going on in my life too, very very very odd and very flattering, and it has just recently blown sky high. But, I was very much playing w/fire, I just wanted you to know that I understand!!!!!!!! So brave for speaking up too. :)

Anonymous said...

You seem very unhappy in your marriage. But, if you are going to keep flirting with this Casey fellow I think you need to really think things through. Maybe you don't feel appreciated by your husband but my question to you is does he feel appreciated by you? Honey, there are 100 women out there who would love to take your place in his life. If you love him stop playing games with other men. It will backfire and it will hurt your husband and your children. They will ALL feel betrayed. I speak as a child of a man who had a 13 year affair and he fooled himself into believing that my mother and us kids didn't know about it. But we did. It took many years for us to forgive him. Finding your inner hot chick should be with your husband and not some other man.

Dana Whitaker said...

Anon,
I think what you are saying is the basic point of my post. And while I appreciate where you are coming from by saying that 100 women would love to take my place, I'm not so sure that's accurate. I do my best to be very supportive of my husband in his job and his extracurricular activites (for lack of a better term). Our friends and family members, as well as casual acquaintances, frequently comment on how it seems as though I am the more supportive and sacrificial party in our marriage.

I do love him. And the linked post, as I said in my post, was a jolt that made me step back and look at what has been going on in my life, and the reasons behind my thoughts or actions, and what the thoughts or actions could lead to. Part of the solution has been bringing The Husband's attention to equality in our lives (having him realize that I have been willing to put aside some of what I would like to be doing vis a vis outside interests in order to allow him the flexibility to pursue some of his, for example).

I didn't go looking for my "inner hot chick" for Casey. He was just he catalyst that made me realize that she was in there. And, because of all that has happened in the past year or so, because I have started looking, my husband is finally starting to see her as well. Which is good for both of us.